Legends & Genitals of Japan Part II

The Festival of the Steel Phallus

I was scrolling down another article on Japan when I saw a giant penis.

I was in the office so I immediately minimised the window and stealthily looked right, left, behind me; checked again to make sure no one was paying attention to my screen and looked at the page again. Yup, there it was. Big, bright pink, proudly pointing heavenward.

So began my online introduction to Kawasaki's Kanamara Matsuri - The Festival of the Steel Phallus. It is to celebrate the vanquishing of a demon that lived in a woman's vagina and who had the nasty habit of biting off the penises of her lovers. (How did this Japanese ancestress of Lorraina Bobbit have plural lovers? Why didn't the local boys satisfy their lust w/ normal, non-penis chomping hoochies??)

So anyway, a local craftsman fashioned a steel phallus which broke the demon's teeth. Since then, this triumphant act of bedroom cunning has been celebrated as a fertility festival of sorts. In the Edo period, courtesans would come to pray for good business and protection from STDs and today it is used to promote AIDS awareness and safe sex.

Get Wood

If steel phalluses are not your thing, check out Tagata Jinja Hounen Matsuri where a giant wooden phallus is paraded during the annual festival. If you're male and 42 years old, you should be part of the exclusive team of 42-year- old men carrying the floats through town. The main float has a giant wooden phallus. Why 42? Because it's considered to be a rather inauspicious year. Why haul a giant dick through town? Just do it.